Blair Waldorf Strikes Back
by supergirlscafe
Summary: Post 1x13, Blair begins plotting against the new social order. You can't keep a bad girl down for long. Waldass.


I can't figure out what day of the week the last episode happened on and nobody else seems to know, so I'm pretending that it was a Wednesday night (like the time of the tv show!) that Blair almost left and now it is Thursday).

Blair Waldorf Strikes Back

0100

In the first hour of the first day of Blair's life as nothing other than a lowly wannabe on the social hierarchy of Constance Billiards, Blair already knows it is going to be a disaster. Her usual approach to scandal is to plot with her faithful cronies Kati and Iz to prepare an appropriate response and strategy. It has not failed her yet. Not when Kati was caught _en__ flagrante_ with the head bartender at Hades at the pictures posted on Gossip Girl; not when Iz was seen skinny-dipping in Central Park; not when Blair herself was the center of a school cheating scandal.

Unfortunately, Kati and Iz are not here with her now at 1am in the early morning after the night she tried to escape to France. Serena is there, but she is sleeping sprawled-out on Blair's four-poster bed, completely worn out.

Blair is not tired. How can she be? Complete social status collapse has already occurred. And humiliatingly enough, it was to Little J

Blair needs a plan. She decides to take inspiration in the greatest movie social-coup of all time: _Mean Girls_.

0200

As Cady and her friends make a three-pronged plan to take down Regina George, Blair takes mental notes. She has seen the movie enough times to quote it-who hasn't?-but now she pays closer attention to the way Cady breaks Gretchen and Karen down.

No longer is the part where Regina is publicly humiliated funny, however. Now Blair sympathizes with Regina as Cady bitches about her and plots behind her back.

"Watch out, Regina," Blair murmurs to herself. "She'll take everything if she can."

0300

Blair watches as Cady and her friends take down Regina by taking away her major assets.

Army of skanks, hot boyfriend, rockin' body. Things Blair has. Or, well, used to have. She still looks hot, but her boyfriend Nate has dumped her and no more do the girls of Constance Billiards follow her around.

Blair considers how she can take these things away from Jenny. She doesn't care to alter Jenny's body by tricking her into weird foods. Blair knows the trauma of weight anxiety and isn't sure she can inflict it on somebody else. Then she reconsiders. Jenny took away everything from her. How can she feel bad?

Blair takes out her Palm Pilot and makes a new To-Do List. Item number one: Make Jenny feel fat and ugly.

Blair knows that trick. She used to inflict it on girls she didn't like, backed up by her entourage, of course. Stare at a particular body part on a girl enough and she'll think that there's something wrong with it. Blair thinks Jenny's stomach is a good place to start.

Army of skanks? Blair is pretty sure her fellow students will get annoyed at bowing down to a freshman pretty fast. It isn't as if Jenny is nearly as socially adept as Blair was when Blair first became Queen Bee as a freshman. Item number two: Remind classmates of Jenny's age and naïveté.

Finally, Blair reflects on relationships. She thinks wistfully for a second of the carefree and fun fling with Chuck. She wishes that hadn't gone so badly. Chuck had been better than Nate in every aspect: a better lover, friend, dresser, everything. Yet she returned to Nate anyway. Nate represented what Chuck did not: a real future.

Blair knows the hard way that there is no such thing as a true relationship with Chuck.

Blair then turns her thoughts to Jenny's relationship status. As far as she knows no boyfriend is in the picture yet for Jenny, except for a bit of innocent flirting with Serena's brother. She is sure somebody will step up, of course, to be on the arm of the cute little blond Queen Bee, but as of now she thinks that all she will be able to do to prevent it is to spread a few rumors. Item number three: Send anonymous tip in to Gossip Girl about Little J's trip to the STD clinic.

Blair grins to herself as she surveys the list. She likes having a plan.

0400

Blair has spent the better part of an hour photoshopping a picture of Little J sneaking around at her birthday party to appear as if Jenny is exiting an STD clinic. She knew the dumb computer classes Constance Billiards made her take would pay off sometime.

0500

Finally, the picture appears realistic and Blair is ready to send it in. She creates a new email account and composes a new email to Gossip Girl.

_Dear Gossip Girl,_

_Haven't you heard of __Little__ J__ and her not so little problem? Apparently the herpes just won't go away…_

_picture_

_Too bad, I thought she was really sweet! Guess she really is a __skank__…too many free blow-jobs to get to the top, perhaps?_

_Love,_

_Your #1 Fan_

Blair glances at the time as she presses "Send." Three hours until school begins. She knows by the time that school starts Gossip Girl will have posted and sent out the picture. Not bad.

0600

Blair shakes Serena awake.

"Blair, what is it?" Serena mumbles groggily. "I don't want to see "Mean Girls" again, I told you that already. I don't care if you think Lindsay in that movie is the new Audrey, okay?"

Blair rolls her eyes and takes the blanket off of the bed. "It's past six, Serena, so you have to get up."

"Whyy?" Serena drags out the word with a whine.

"You need to shower, so your pretty boyfriend will think you smell nice, and then I need to talk to you."

"What's wrong?" Serena asks carefully.

Blair smiles sweetly. "Nothing's wrong. Just a little strategy over breakfast; where's the harm in that?"

0700

"Blair, no," Serena says firmly, taking a spoonful of Cheerios. "This is too much."

Blair pushes the Palm Pilot list back to Serena. Blair has no food in front of her; there is no time to eat. "Serena, she took my crown. She took everything. She needs to go down!"

Serena looks at Blair. "This is too mean. It's one thing to embarrass somebody on Gossip Girl, it's another to encourage eating disorders!"

Blair sighs. "We're not encouraging an eating disorder, Serena, just…a little insecurity, that's all."

"I won't do it, Blair," Serena shakes her head. "We're better than this. You're better than this! You can be popular again without ruining Jenny's life."

"Don't worry, Serena, I won't just be taking Jenny down. I'm just starting with her, that's all."

"Blair, this is not happening," Serena says, crunching her cereal. "Jenny doesn't deserve this."

Blair is beginning to realize that the fact that Serena is dating Jenny's brother may become a factor. She takes back her Palm Pilot and puts it in her purse. "We'll see."

0800

Blair arrives just as the school bell rang for school. Usually she prefers to arrive early and conference with her many minions about fashion and society events before school began. Today, she doesn't want to be early. It would only attract negative attention. She wants to let the negative attention rest on Jenny.

Still, Blair does attract her fair share of detriment. The girls in her first period class whisper and giggle about the fight between Chuck and Nate the previous day. Blair basks in the spotlight; it's always been what she does best. But today she wishes perhaps she had picked a better quality to excel in, like invisibility.

That'd be a good one.

0900

At the mid-morning break, Blair stands unobtrusively in the shadows of the courtyard. She scans the crowd. She sees Serena and Dan talking and giggling over cookies. Blair's eye catches on Chuck. Their eyes meet briefly before Chuck turns away. She lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

Now she begins to tune into the chatter of the teenagers. Blair is gratified to hear the conversation shift more towards the photo of Jenny that Blair so carefully doctored.

The entire school population, both male and female, buzzes between bites of pastries. Blair catches snippets: "Photo taken last week---such a skank---heard it was herpes---always the blondes---thought she was a nice girl---anonymous tip---Gossip Girl---Jenny Humphrey."

Blair smiles.

1000

During the daily morning assembly Blair sits with Serena, as per usual. Of course, now Blair sits in the third row of the auditorium, not the first.

Some might expect that Blair would be relegated to the back of the theater, due to her social collapse, but that would be to overstate the situation. Blair is not at the bottom of the social heap by any means. She is simply exiled from the inner circle of popularity. There are still plenty that pay their due respect to Blair.

Blair stares unblinkingly in front of her, at the back of Jenny's blonde, wavy-haired head. She watches Jenny try to resist the urge to turn around and glare her off. When Jenny finally does so, Blair simply keeps staring. Most of the girls on the Constance Billiards side of the auditorium watch the stare-down out of the corner of their eyes.

Finally, Jenny wavers and turns back around and faces the principal. Blair smirks in her victory.

Blair observes the hierarchy in the Army of Skanks, doing a bit of research for the upcoming social coup she intends to plan. Hazel, a junior, sits next to Little J as the obvious brains behind Jenny's social rise. Blair notes that Kati and Iz do not seem thrilled to be relegated to the end of the row. Good. They might be allies later.

Serena pokes Blair and motions towards the principal, who is looking down at Blair sternly.

"As I was saying, children, Blair Waldorf has been named by her classmates to plan the Valentine's Day Ball. Ms. Waldorf?" The principal says, clearly wanting Blair to speak about it.

Blair rises, perfect society smile plastered on her lovely doll-like face. "Brainstorming and planning for the ball will be on Saturday at 4pm at the Tea Room at Angelique's. In order to attend, you must sign up on the list that has been posted on the Social Events bulletin board in the main hall of the school. I especially hope all of the Social Committee will be able to attend; it is a required event. Thanks!"

The girls whisper to each other frantically as Blair sits down calmly. They do not want to be associated with Blair, but planning social events is a highly prestigious activity on the Upper East Side. The popular inner circle especially does not want to be left out of any plans, so they confer as to who will represent them at the meeting. They do not want to leave Blair, the Social Committee head, to her own devices in the ball preparations.

1100

The students in AP US History, including Blair and Serena, find out upon arrival to class that their usual teacher is sick and a substitute will be supervising a quiet study.

Blair and Serena find adjacent desks and arrange their study materials. Blair bends her head down as she writes notes from her textbook in her elegant handwriting, her hair curtaining her face.

She is startled by a poke from Serena. "What?" Blair snaps.

"Are you sure you still want to organize that ball thing?" Serena whispers.

Blair raises her eyebrows at Serena. "Of course. Why?"

Serena shrugs, reluctant. "I don't know, I guess I just thought…" She trails off. "You know, with your…um…condition…"

"Oh, you mean my condition as a social outcast?" Blair hisses sharply back. "Do you actually think I'm planning to stay at the bottom of the ladder, Serena?"

Serena sighs. "Of course I don't, I just don't want you to get hurt or anything."

Blair's scheming smile sends chills down Serena's spine. "Don't worry, Serena. I won't be the one getting hurt."

1200

Blair waves Serena off when Serena asks if Blair would like to eat lunch with her and Dan. Ignoring Serena's protests, Blair pushes her gently in the direction of her boyfriend.

Dan nods gratefully. He is fully supportive of Serena's friendship with Blair, but that is not to say that he and Blair get along fabulously all the time.

Blair treads carefully through the courtyard. Only yesterday did Blair feel completely comfortable walking wherever she pleased in the entire city of New York-or at least, the Upper East Side. Today, Blair is fully aware of her vulnerability. She glances over at the steps of the Met to make sure that Jenny or Hazel isn't looking at her before going to sit on a bench hidden by the trees.

She fails to notice, however, the set of hazel eyes looking at her. As Blair leafs through the latest issue of _Cosmopolitan_, Chuck is captivated by the curl of her chocolate hair, the delicateness of her lily-white hand flipping the pages, and the small strip of thigh he sees as her skirt rides up on her crossed legs.

Chuck shakes his head and turns back to his oblivious friends. Nate is no longer sitting with him, but that does not bother Chuck. Chuck has plenty of party-boy friends of his own that are perfectly content to be seen with a girlfriend-stealer. [After all, Chuck throws the best parties.

1300

Blair takes her usual spot at the front of the class in her AP Calculus class before most of the rest of the class has yet to arrive.

As the clock's minute hand ticks closer to the start time, the popular girls sweep in. Hazel stops in front of Blair's desk.

"Excuse me," Hazel says coolly, "But I believe you're in my seat."

Blair matches her gaze just as smoothly and shrugs. "Well, I'm sitting here now."

Hazel cocks her head. Blair raises her eyebrows. A clear challenge.

Hazel is still debating what to do next when the teacher takes her position at the front of the class and taps her pen against the whiteboard.

"Girls, please take your seats." The teacher shoos Hazel off in the direction of an empty desk. Hazel walks off obediently, but not before turning back to shoot a hateful look at Blair. It promises revenge.

1400

Blair packs up her book bag quickly, determined to get to her next class before Hazel. She wants to sit in her usual seat again, just to see if she can really piss Hazel off.

She is surprised to see Hazel already there but sitting in a different seat. Blair smirks and walks to her usual seat once again. As she sits down, she feels an uncomfortable wetness on the bottom of her skirt. She stands and feels the back of it with her hands. As she takes her hands off of her skirt she sees that they are covered in red paint.

Hazel fakes a look of concern at the redness dripping off of Blair's pleated skirt. "Did you have an accident, Blair?" The girls in the class titter.

Blair turns to the teacher as the girls point at her skirt. "Excuse me, Mrs. Walters, may I have a bathroom pass?"

Mrs. Walters looks sympathetically at Blair, who thanks her lucky stars that she spent the past ten weeks sucking up to the teacher. "Of course, dear. Take as long as you need."

Blair nods gratefully before rushing into the now-deserted hall. She dashes to her locker and snatches the extra uniform she keeps in there for emergencies before racing off to the bathroom. Ten minutes later, she emerges looking neat and clean, holding a bag containing the paint-stained clothes.

She walks softly back to the classroom. She passes a door that adjoins to the St. Jude's building's hallway and is startled to hear familiar voices through it. She peeks through the door crack and sees Chuck and Nate. She holds back her gasp at seeing the boys she had believed were on the outs chatting loudly.

Chuck says sheepishly to Nate, "I can't believe I told Gossip Girl about it. I was just so pissed, you know?"

Nate laughs. "It's okay, dude. I feel your pain."

"Seriously, though, how did you know it was me?" Chuck smirks. "I know I didn't tell Gossip Girl that part!"

Nate grins a little. "One of Blair's ex-cronies. Jenny Humphrey told me. I think she probably heard it from her brother, Dan-you know he's dating Serena, right?-and I think she has a thing for me."

"Well, who doesn't?" Chuck mocks jokingly. "Man, I didn't think Little J had it in her. You're sure it was her?"

Nate raises his eyebrows. "Of course."

Blair's mind spins as the boys' conversation turns to a discussion of Jenny's looks and possible skankiness. She had known that Jenny had capitalized from Blair social downfall, but she hadn't believed Jenny was capable of deviously contributing to it. She had underestimated Jenny.

She reviewed her to-do list mentally. She wouldn't make such a mistake again.

1500

Blair strides determinedly towards the street from her school's exit, attempting to make it into a taxi before she is seen by Jenny or Hazel.

She fails.

Hazel accosts her right just before the iron gates. Blair attempts to push past Hazel's outstretched arm. "Do you have a problem?" Blair says in annoyance.

Hazel appraises Blair. "Yes, in fact, I do."

Blair motions for her to continue as the rest of Hazel's posse, including Jenny, begins to gather behind Hazel.

"I have a problem with you," Hazel announces dramatically. Jenny nods and smirks.

"Shocker," Blair responds drily. She sees Kati and Iz try to cover their smiles simultaneously.

Hazel glares before continuing. "We all have a problem with you. You're a hypocrite. A liar. A cheater. A whore. A bitch. Need I go on?"

Blair waves her hand. "Please, continue."

Hazel looks momentarily confused. She was expecting embarrassment, or sadness, not this…indifference.

When Hazel fails to respond, Blair shrugs. "Alright then. I'll see many of you on Saturday, I hope?" She does not wait for a response, although many of the girls nod, as she turns away.

"Do you actually expect that we will just forget about all of this?" Jenny asks angrily.

Blair looks around. The girls eagerly wait for her answer. "All of what, exactly?" She starts to walk off towards the street again.

Hazel still faces her, hands on her hips, the rest of the girls flanking her. "They aren't going to forgive you, you know. You'll always be washed-up to us."

Blair laughs as she walks off towards her car, the only indication that she even heard Hazel. She does not otherwise alter her step or focused stare. The girls watch Blair's curly brown hair bounce as she steps into a taxi.

1600

Blair arrives home and is completely exhausted. Dorota notes her unusually pale complexion and immediately fusses over her, rushing her into bed.

Dorota shakes her finger at Blair when Blair tries to get up. "Miss Blair, did you sleep at all last night? That is not good for your immune system!"

Dorota hands Blair a glass of water and some pills. "Take these."

Blair obediently puts the pills in her mouth and washes them down.

"Sleep now. I'll wake you up for dinner," Dorota tells Blair, not unkindly, and smoothes Blair's hair over her forehead as Blair falls back onto her pillow.

1700

Blair tosses and turns as her dreams are plagued by figures that seem to mock her.

Serena's ethereal exterior pleads with Blair, "Don't do it, don't do it! You're in such a delicate condition!"

Under the blonde hair the face shifts to that of Jenny's. "Yeah, Blair, watch out, you're so very…delicate," Jenny laughs as she drops something, bending to pick it up.

She springs back up as Hazel, hands planted on her hips. "We have a problem. You're a problem. A hypocrite, liar…"

Hazel walks off, only to be replaced by Audrey Hepburn. But Audrey is dressed as a character straight out of Mean Girls, with a ruffled pink skirt and white blouse. She smiles innocently. "You're just a fugly slut, Blair. Hazel's right." She shrugs and shakes her head in disappointment.

Someone is shaking Blair out of her dream. "Miss Blair, Miss Blair," a voice comes.

Blair struggles, still thinking she is in her nightmare. "No, no, stop, I'm not!" She exclaims, Audrey's face still fuzzy in front of her.

The person yanks the covers off. "Miss Blair, it is time to get up!" Dorota tells her sternly. "Your mother just called."

Blair sleepily looks at Dorota, confused.

"I am sorry to wake you," Dorota apologizes. "I know I said I would let you sleep, Miss Blair, but your mother called a few minutes ago. She wants you to meet her for dinner at eight at the apartment of her business friend, Mrs...Rodriguez?"

Blair blinks. "What time is it?"

Dorota points to the clock. "It is almost six. I knew that you would want to shower and get ready with plenty of time, though, and I think you should eat some real food before picking at your food in public like you always do." Dorota's reproachful look is enough to make Blair feel ashamed.

Blair gets up, finally, and walks towards the bathroom. "Thank you, Dorota," she says gratefully.

Dorota just smiles. "It is okay, Miss Blair."

1800

After her shower and wrapped in a bathrobe, Blair sits at the mirror and examines her reflection. Her hair, swept up in a towel on her head, makes her look regal. Her chocolate brown eyes look wide against her pale skin. To a casual observer, she is merely a classic beauty.

However, as usual she is drawn to her flaws. A few straggly curls of hair escape the turban and look messy. Under her eyes are dark gray circles marking her lovely skin from lack of sleep. She notes the blotchiness of her lower left cheek and the minute blackhead forming on the side of her nose. All details that no person would ever notice except Blair herself.

Blair sighs and lets down her hair from the towel. She takes a brush from her vanity and begins to detangle the knots.

1900

Dorota refuses to let Blair leave for the dinner before Blair has eaten some hot soup, at least. Blair protests weakly, saying that she might accidently spill some on her new Chanel skirt, but Dorota is having none of it. Under Dorota's watchful eye Blair slowly consumes two cups of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup, followed by some of Dorota's secret energy drink recipe.

"You wouldn't need if you had gotten some proper sleep," Dorota tells Blair firmly as she finished.

Blair swallowed her final gulp of the bitter drink. "It wasn't my fault!"

Dorota looks skeptically before handing her the address of the dinner that Blair will be attending and pushing her gently out the door.

2000

Blair pastes on her best society smile and pats her perfectly coiffed hair before knocking on the door of the Rodriguez apartment. She is surprised to see a woman in a business suit answer the door instead of a maid. She adjusts quickly. "It's so wonderful to meet you, Mrs. Rodriquez," she says smoothly and politely.

Mrs. Rodriguez beams back at her. "Please, call me Alexandra," she gushes. "I was so happy to hear that Eleanor had a daughter that could watch Tommy while we ate. It's very sweet of you to spend your evening helping us out!"

Blair raises her eyebrows for only a second before grinning tightly. "It's no problem at all, Alexandra."

Blair looks over Mrs. Rodriguez's shoulder at her mother, Eleanor, appearing out of the corner of her view. Her mother tries to conceal a guilty look.

Blair opens her arms. "So where is little Tommy?"

Thirty minutes later, Blair has discovered that not only does nine-year-old Tommy despise being called little, but also possesses a seemingly boundless amount of pent-up aggression. She watches helplessly as Tommy smashes his toy action figures into the floor. "Tommy, sweetie," she tries to intercede. "Maybe that isn't the best idea?"

Tommy blatantly ignores her.

Blair is contemplating which mysterious affliction she should have when her mother enters the living room, where Blair is entertaining Tommy. Eleanor pulls Blair off to the side for a minute.

"Darling, I need you to do me a favor," Eleanor tells her. "I know this has been a difficult night so far, but I need you to do this."

Blair crosses her arms. "What do you want?"

Eleanor sighs. "I just got a call from Bart Bass. He agreed to fund the Victoria's Secret venture I am trying to plan with Mrs. Rodriguez, but he wants the papers signed tonight. I have to have the papers here by the end of the night so Alexandra can seal the deal."

"What do you need me to do?" Blair raises her hands helplessly. "I'm stuck here on Tommy duty."

Eleanor rubs her temples. "Just go to the Plaza and retrieve the papers. Bart promised to leave them at the front desk for pick-up. I promise you can go home after you have brought the papers back."

"No more babysitting?" Blair asks skeptically.

"No more babysitting," Eleanor affirms. "Just the papers, please. This is my big chance."

Her mother looks so earnest that Blair finds it difficult to say no. The fact that Tommy has now moved on to meticulously dismembering his action figures is also a mitigating factor.

Blair grabs her purse from the top of the bookshelf where Tommy cannot reach. "Fine. I'll see you later."

2100

Blair is annoyed to find upon arrival at the Plaza that despite his promise, Mr. Bass failed to leave the aforementioned papers at the front desk. She reluctantly rides the elevator to the penthouse suite marked "Bass," not relishing searching the residence for the papers.

She taps on the door of the penthouse. Her worst fears are confirmed when Chuck answers the door.

A smirk spreads across Chuck's smug face. "Is there something you need?"

He catches a glimpse of her annoyed expression as she brushes past him into the apartment. "I need to see your father."

"I know you'll do anything that moves, B," Chuck drawls, "but my father prefers his sluts to be legal at the very least."

Blair turns to him and glares. "I need some forms that he was supposed to leave at the front desk. Do you know where I could find them?"

Chuck smirks again. "What's my reward?"

Blair pushes Chuck against the wall. "I'm not asking, Chuck."

Blair suddenly becomes aware of how close she is to Chuck as she feels his hot breath on her face. "But you know all you have to do is ask," he purrs as he leans in.

Blair is caught off guard by the passionate kiss but quickly relaxes into the feeling of his lips caressing hers. They remain that way for a few minutes before Chuck's hands start to wander. This jolts Blair back to reality and she steps back, breaking the kiss. Chuck stays there, stunned.

Blair scans the room, trying to ignore the fact that she just made out with her ex, when she spots Bart's study. She strides quickly into the room, flipping through the papers on the desk. She grabs the file folder marked "Waldorf" and attempts to slip past an astonished Chuck out of the apartment.

This marks Chuck's return to his senses and he grabs her arm. "Wait, Blair-" he starts. "Are we just going to forget about the little Seven Minutes in Heaven we just had?"

Blair rotates her head over her shoulder to look back at Chuck. "I know you don't want me anymore." She smiles as she echoes his words of the previous night. "Don't worry, I'll leave." She turns back and walks out the door.

Blair hears Chuck calling after her as she steps into the elevator. She turns around and faces him as the doors close, bending down to press the "Lobby" button. She catches one final glimpse of his remorseful, anguished, frustrated face as the elevator doors slide shut.

2200

Blair flops down on her four-poster bed dramatically, practically collapsing. She had returned to the Rodriguez apartment just as the adults were having their after-dinner drinks, perfectly poised to sign the papers she proudly displayed. Her mother mouthed a silent "Thank-you" to her as Blair left.

Blair is just settling herself more comfortably on her throw pillows as she is startled by her phone vibrating. She glances at the screen. It's Serena. She presses "Answer" and holds the phone up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, B," Serena's voice floats through the speaker. "I was just calling to make sure you were okay. I heard that you had some sort of…argument with Hazel this afternoon?"

Blair studies her perfectly manicured nails. "Yeah, I guess."

"Sorry I wasn't there," Serena apologizes, "but I met Dan at his locker and we didn't make it outside until a little later."

Blair, wincing at her nail beds, begins to rummage through her nightstand for a nail file.

"I feel so bad that I wasn't there to support you!" Serena prattles on as Blair victoriously locates her nail kit.

Serena continues to babble as Blair begins to attack her cuticles. "I just am starting to worry about you, B. You're getting into big confrontations, holding grudges, and planning crazy attacks on totally innocent people."

Blair rolls her eyes at the 'innocent people' remark but still listens patiently.

"I mean, is there something wrong?" Serena asks anxiously to her silent best friend. "Is this some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder from sleeping with Chuck? Like, the urges to totally socially ruin people?" Serena pauses, letting her final question hang out in the air for Blair to answer.

Blair sets down her nail file, cuticles tamed, and responds calmly. "For starters, S, the PTSD is more likely to be from getting completely socially destroyed myself, thanks to a not-so-innocent person named Jenny Humphrey." Blair ignores Serena's noise of protest. "I happen to know that she was the person who informed Nate about my time with Chuck."

Serena exhales. "Are you sure?"

Blair nods, despite the fact that Serena can't see her. "Totally positive. I heard Nate and Chuck talking about it."

"Well…" Serena trails off. "I don't know what to say, I guess. Do what you gotta do. Just…take it easy, okay?"

Blair smirks. "I'll try."

2300

Blair retrieves her Palm Pilot from her purse and reviews her to-do list regarding little miss Jenny Humphrey.

She first checks off the things she completed. She certainly managed to dent Jenny's virginal reputation with the Gossip Girl photo. She also knows that the stare-down in the auditorium reminded her classmates of Blair's dominant force of will.

Blair realizes that she failed to play on Jenny's physical insecurities. Blair contemplates the idea of simply removing that task from the list. Backstabbing ho though Jenny might be, she doesn't deserve a lifetime of anxiety over her looks. Blair decides to postpone that particular aspect of her strategy. At least for now.

Blair debates the success of her strategy so far. She is certain that she has sympathizers in Kati and Iz and a possibly ally in Chuck. Her social status is still in need of some work, but prospects didn't look so bleak anymore.

2400

Blair is happily snoozing on her bed when she is awoken by her phone buzzing. She checks it to find a new update from Gossip Girl featuring…her, of course. When is Blair not on the front page of that

_Blair Waldorf Strikes Back_

_Spotted: B, by almost everyone on the Upper East Side._

_ First she's leaving the airstrip (presumably an aborted flight to France) with Serena, getting herself into a sticky mess at school, confronting __Little__ J and H, babysitting for an obnoxious pre-teen, and finally visiting the Bass penthouse._

_What goes on in that girl's head? I predicted that after yesterday's scandal, B would never be able to recover her social status. But now she appears to be challenging __Little__ J and possibly even rekindling an __old flame with C!_

_It seems you just can't keep a bad girl down._

_I'll be watching!_

_XOXO_

_Gossip Girl_

_--CB-- _

A/N: Just a little tale I've been wanting to write about Blair's feelings post 1x13 ("The Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate") inspired by the final lines of the episode. I was going to make it a WIP but realized I have too much on my plate so I turned it into an extraordinarily long one-shot. For all of you waiting for the TTO update, sorry! I hope you guys like this story and if you do (or if you don't) please press the little blue button in the lower-left corner! Yay!


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